Hurt
by cmsully
Summary: *inspired by Johnny Cash's 'Hurt', and also uses some of its lyrics* This is based upon the assumption that Jenova took over Sephiroth's body, and what might've been his observations of some events of the original game.


_****_*I don't own Final Fantasy VII or any of their characters. I also don't own 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash.

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_**What have I become, my sweetest friend?**_

Sephiroth felt himself slipping into the deepest recesses of his mind, aware of what his body was doing but unable to do anything about it… not that he particularly wanted to. He knew who was doing it, too- the one who called herself his Mother.

He watched as she burnt down the tiny town that had been home to her prison, watched as she used his Masamune to slice anyone who came in his path.

Watched as she turned him into the very monster that the people of Wutai openly and many others secretly claimed him to be.

_**Everyone I know goes away, in the end.**_

Did he really deserve to the title that everyone screamed at him before they died- the title of _monster_? Was Genesis telling him the truth when he called him the perfect monster, before demanding some of his cells?

Was this why it was so easy for Angeal to leave him, eventually giving in to the ultimate form of abandonment and forcing his student to kill him?

To this very moment, he felt no regret about denying his former friend the cells that he claimed he needed. After all, the red-head had abandoned him, betrayed him, and forced him to struggle on without the two people who, beside that accursed Hojo, knew him best.

As Zackary pointed the Buster that had once been born so lovingly by Angeal at his body being used by Mother, he couldn't help but wonder, though- was it Zackary who was betraying him this time… or was it he who was betraying Zackary?

A pang of regret filled him… but unfortunately Zackary couldn't be allowed to stop Mother from fulfilling her goals.

_**And you could have it all, my empire of dirt.**_

Years have passed since that fateful day, and Sephiroth was amused to see the Buster once again being pointed at his body, this time by the blond trooper who had so disgracefully stabbed him in the back.

As Mother used his memories to taunt young Cloud about his own false memories, he himself simply mused on how all of the blond's companions seemed to (at the very least unconsciously) think that he would become the world's hero by defeating the former General.

He scoffed at his own memories of being the hero. All of the loneliness, all of the pain…

Let Strife have the title. It's what he deserved, after all.

_**I will let you down… I will make you hurt.**_

He watched impassively as the people who had once spoken of his name with awe bordering on reverence now spoke it with equal shares of hate and fear.

So what if his Mother used his body to bring about Meteor… after all of the shit he had been through first with Hojo then with Shinra, he was starting to think that they deserved it.

However, as Mother started to first use Cloud, then use her son's own likeness to kill Zackary's little flower girl, he started to wonder why Mother would want her out of the way…

After all, if he was a Cetra as she claimed him to be, and the flower girl was one as well, wouldn't it have made more sense to keep her alive in order to repopulate their race?

Even as he was sadistically pleased at Cloud's obvious grief… doubt started to fill Sephiroth's mind about what his Mother told him.

_**If I could start again, a million miles away.**_

What no one seemed to realize was that everything that Cloud, a copy of Sephiroth, experienced was also experienced by the original… in other words, him.

His Mother certainly didn't know about it, for he in a rare moment of individuality (Hojo probably would've called it rebellion) decided to keep that fact hidden deep within his consciousness. The thought at the time was that since Mother would be busy turning his body into that of a god's, he would take this seemingly small burden off her shoulders.

It turned out to be a double edged sword for him, though, when the real truth about Jenova and his own parentage was revealed to the blond's group.

Oh, how the knowledge tore at him… it took everything he had to make sure Moth- _Jenova_ was unaware of his changing feelings toward her.

After all, after lying to him so badly she didn't deserve the honor of being his Mother anymore.

_**I would keep myself.**_

In the days leading up to the final battle against Cloud and his group, Sephiroth discreetly searched for ways to evict Jenova from his body.

While he still hated Cloud for his dishonorable actions towards his body on the day he lost himself, nonetheless he found that he hated Jenova more for deceiving him in such a manner.

After all, while Cloud _did_ at least have a legitimate reason for his revenge against him… Jenova had none for her revenge against Gaia save for the fact that her plans to take it over simply failed.

She used him… and if he had his way it would cost her dearly.

However, as it stood it seemed unlikely that he would get that chance.

_**I would find… a way.**_

In the final battle, Sephiroth knew that if it hadn't been for him slowly weakening Jenova's control on his supposedly ultimate form the rag-tag group of heroes would never have been able to win.

He hated helping Strife in such a way… however, it was unfortunately a necessary evil.

Even he, however, was horrified to see that the defeat of his body didn't stop Meteor from coming. His feelings for the Planet had changed since the day he found out the truth about Jenova- in a way, he could see a reflection of himself within its fate.

Both had given their trust to those who claimed only had their best intentions in mind… and both had been badly deceived.

The flower girl, surprisingly, seemed to sense this. After she managed to summon the Lifestream to block the worst of Meteor's attacks, she herself separated him from his Jenova-possessed body.

As forgiveness and understanding flowed from her, Sephiroth's will was set.

He may not have been able to change the past… but that doesn't mean that he couldn't affect the future. If Jenova used his body to resurrect herself, he would simply use his own connection to weaken it enough for Strife to defeat her. Not enough that Strife won't have to work for it… but enough for him to win.

The newly-appointed Guardian of Gaia seemed to approve as she led him towards two people he had not expected to meet again.

A mentor and his student. One who had cause to earn his hate… the other one who had cause to hate him.

However, as Angeal and Zackary clasped their hands with his and sent their feelings of friendship and forgiveness… for the first time in his life, Sephiroth felt truly and utterly _human_.

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A/N: Yeah, totally wrote this in, like, a day.


End file.
